Times
of India: Mumbai: Wednesday, August 27, 2014.
In
an unprecedented move that comes as a setback to Bollywood actors and artistes
and brings cheer to their fans, stalkers and film journalists, the entire
Indian film fraternity has been brought under the ambit of the Right to
Information (RTI) Act.
Reacting
to the move, Bollywood legend Amitabh Bachchan said, "I have nothing to
hide. I have even declared my slipper size (nine), and the fact that even today
I don't pick up money thrown at me."
Members
of the public will be able to file a simple RTI application to know the details
of which actor is having an affair with whom, why Sajid Khan is allowed to make
films, which actress had a nose job and even the modus operandi of lifting
plots from Hollywood films.
One
RTI plea regarding the Shah Rukh Khan-Wankhede Stadium incident has already
been answered. According to the reply, the stadium guard asked SRK,
"Wankhede kya kar rahe ho?" SRK responded with, "Guard
doonga!" to which the guard said he was "already on his guard",
infuriating the owner of KKR. Now a film is being planned on the incident
called "Oh My Guard (OMG)!"
A
Bollywood aficionado was planning to file an RTI to find out why filmmaker
Mahesh Bhatt scratches himself so much on TV. The witty producer-director
responded with: "Everybody has to start from scratch but to itch his
own" and proceeded to vigorously scratch himself on the spot. Sources say
he is planning to make a film with a Chinese superstar called Khuj Lee.
Interestingly,
the following interaction from a court scene was also revealed by an RTI
application:
Sajid
Khan: Yes, women are objectified in my films.
Actress:
I object your honour.
Sajid:
Yes you are.
There
are a number of RTI applications already piling up for Bollywood. Mocktale
decided to list some of them:
1.
Why
are cops always late in films?
2.
Why
doesn't a hero's gun ever run out of bullets?
3.
How
do heroes (and SUVs in Rohit Shetty films) manage to defy gravity and physics?
4.
Why
does an actress/actor always die in a love-triangle?
5.
How
does a group of strangers know the exact dance moves when a hero/heroine starts
dancing?
6.
Why
are people in films always struggling for money for some operation? Hasn't
anyone heard of health insurance?
7.
How
is it that the villain's men die in a single shot but the hero's friend takes
ages to die after taking some 35 bullets and mouthing some emotional lines and
teary goodbyes?
8.
Why
is the sole honest politician usually an aged man who gets bumped off in the
middle of the film?
9.
Why
is Salman Khan allergic to shirts?
10. One gentleman wants to file an RTI
application to find out if Big B is his dad ever since he heard him say
"Rishtey mai to hum tumhare baap lagte hain."
Hopefully
the film industry will answer these queries soon.