The Print:
New Delhi: Tuesday, 25 February 2020.
More
and more single Indian women are looking to become mothers through adoption,
government data suggests. According to an RTI reply from the Central Adoption
Resource Authority (CARA), the nerve centre of adoptions in India, the number
of applications from single women went up to 589 in 2018-2019 from 495 in
2017-2018.
As
many as 510 have applied in 2019-20 (until December), with the number expected
to increase by the time the financial year winds up.
Single
women who have adopted told ThePrint they had different motivations to take the
step, the underlying theme being that they didn’t see motherhood and marriage
as connected experiences. Some described how their families came together to
support them, while others talked of the questions and scepticism that come
one’s way on this path.
Delhi
resident Paromita Chatterjee, 44, who adopted her child in 2014, said she was
extremely lucky to have had a supportive environment.
“I
was an outlier in a sense. I had decided back when I was a teenager that I
wanted to adopt regardless of whether I marry,” she said. “My family was also
always very supportive.”
Chatterjee
said many women had begun approaching her with queries since her adoption was
finalised. Currently, she also serves as administrator of a WhatsApp group
involving other single mothers and those who aspire to adopt.
Single
parenting, she added, was a challenge, saying most people sought the support of
their families.
“I
know many single women who waited for 5-7 years for their families to support
them in their decision to adopt. Sometimes their families do come around, and
other times they go ahead with the adoption regardless,” she said
Malini
Parmar, 47, a Bengaluru resident who adopted in 2009 said she was inspired by
Bollywood star Sushmita Sen, who adopted her first daughter at the age of 24 in
2000 and her second in 2010.
“I
adopted when I was in my 30s. I remember watching Sushmita Sen in an interview,
talking about her daughter. And I remember thinking to myself, ‘what a
beautiful way to build a family’,” Parmar said.
“For
me, marriage and adoption were two very different things. I was dating at the
time I adopted, with no plans to marry,” she said. “I dated even after
adopting. I think we need to de-link the concept of marrying with that of
having children.”
‘A
progressive law’
In
2017, CARA brought in a highly-lauded provision that fast-tracked adoptions
which take two years on average by six months for financially-secure single
women aged above 40.
Bengaluru-based
Hita Hejmadi, who works in the e-commerce industry, was over 40 when she applied
for adoption in 2016. She received her child in 2018.
Hejmadi,
who couldn’t avail of the new CARA provision because it came after she had
applied, described it as “highly progressive”.
“The
social worker was fairly friendly with me and the process was smooth,” she
said. “It was surprising how the law actually was way more progressive than our
society is when it comes to single women and their choices.”
As
the adoption process takes roughly two years, it couldn’t be verified how many
of the applications filed by single women since 2017 have resulted in
adoptions.
An
official at CARA reiterated the RTI data to state that there had been an
increase in the number of applications filed by single women since 2017, but
claimed the spurt wasn’t unique to those over 40. There had been an increase in
applications from single women aged below 40 too, the official said.
“This
[new provision] may be because the new provision has acted as a positive and
enabling force,” the official added.
However,
several challenges remain, with some single women telling ThePrint about
“regressive questions” social workers often lob at them “Why are you
unmarried?”, “Will you ever marry?”, “How will you rear a child alone?”
Supriya
Roy, a 43-year-old MNC employee from Gurgaon who adopted her daughter in 2013,
said “at every step, I was asked how I will be able to take care of a child as
a single woman”.
“They
(social workers) kept asking me if my parents will help me with the parenting,
and if I plan on getting married later.”
If
it weren’t for her parents and their involvement in her life, she said, she
might not have been able to adopt. “They (social workers) didn’t seem to think
a single woman alone is enough for a child.”
A
similar story was relayed by single men who opted for adoptions.
Indian
adoption rules allow single men to adopt but they can’t apply for daughters.
According to the aforementioned RTI reply, the number of single men who applied
for adoption more-than-doubled from 21 in 2015-16 to 45 in 2018-19. The number
for 2019-20 was 71 until December.
Delhi
resident Jyoti Swaroop Gupta, 48, applied for his first adoption in 2009, when
he was 37, and the second one in 2018.
Gupta
said the process had become a lot more streamlined in the intervening decade,
thanks to digitisation, but claimed the questions largely remained the same.
“The
first thing I was asked as a single man wanting to adopt was if I was gay. This
happened 10 years ago, and again in 2018,” he said.
CARA,
however, defended itself against allegations of bias, saying couples, too, were
grilled with equal intensity as it was their job to gauge potential parents’
capacity to bring up a child in a loving home.
“The
social workers are only doing their job. These are questions that need to be
asked if we have to be thorough with our procedure and find a suitable parent
for the child,” CARA CEO Deepak Kumar said.
“The
social worker has to ask couples these questions. If they weren’t doing so,
then they would actually be failing at their job,” he added.
‘The
long wait’
The
perceived bias of social workers isn’t the only grouse prospective parents have
against the CARA mechanism, with many flagging the long wait time.
A
Delhi woman who applied for adoption via CARA in July 2019, when she was 44,
hoped her case would be fast-tracked in light of the new provision because she
was in a race against time.
Under
CARA guidelines, a single prospective adoptive parent can be no older than 45
if they are looking to adopt a child aged between 0 and 4 years of age.
“My
clock was ticking. Sure, my application was given a 6-month lead, but I don’t
think that counts for much when there are so many parents in the queue.”
With
the “delay” making her restless, she decided to opt out of the CARA process and
instead applied for adoption under the Hindu Adoptions and Maintenance Act
(HAMA).
According
to the Act, once there is mutual agreement between the two families the one
willing to give up a child and the one willing to adopt an adoption deed can be
registered under HAMA.
Singh
said it took just two months for the child to be handed over to her after the
deed registration and she was a mother by November 2019. “HAMA turned out to be
much more efficient than the process under CARA,” she added.
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